


Long Night

by piecurious



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Universe, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Sad Dean Winchester, Soft Dean Winchester, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 10:10:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18333833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piecurious/pseuds/piecurious
Summary: “I’m sorry,” Dean whispers. He knows Cas can hear him, but he doesn’t respond. ‘I deserve this’ Dean thinks. He should never have told Cas to leave. He should’ve called him back after he left to apologize. He definitely shouldn’t have waited three freakin’ months to try to get him back.





	Long Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic! Ahhh!! This work was inspired by the song Long Night by With Confidence. I also stole the title, as you can tell. I hope you like it! :)

It's been three months...

Three months since Dean’s self-righteous anger made Cas leave. He can't even remember what the argument was about anymore; he vaguely remembers hunting a witch, and Castiel almost sacrificing himself to save the brothers. Now, though, all he can think about is how much he misses him. He was so sure that Cas would come back in a few days and things would go back to normal, argument forgotten, all parties forgiven. Dean didn’t even care if they went back to the way they were before their ‘normal’ changed, he just wanted Cas back. 

Lines had started to blur between the hunter and his angel months ago. Their fleeting looks became longing glances. Loud, boisterous conversations turned into softer, quieter talks. Hands and fingers seemed to linger whenever one touched the other. Dean knew Sam pretended not to notice so he wouldn’t make the other two uncomfortable while they discovered what all this meant. Five months ago, Sam discreetly got his own motel room for the first time, saying it was ‘just in case’ as he was heading out to the bar. That was the first night Dean kissed Cas. They had stayed up late talking, and Dean eventually fell asleep, cuddled against the angel. After that night, Castiel was around a lot more, opting to ride in the backseat of the Impala when the brothers traveled instead of running off, doing whatever it was that he did when he wasn’t with the Winchesters. Since Sam kept getting his own room, Cas would stay and hold dean every night. 

Walking down the sidewalk holding Castiel’s hand made Dean feel happy, waking up in his arms made him feel safe. Dean couldn’t remember ever feeling like this with Cassie or Lisa. He loved Castiel. He finally told him a month later. 

***

Laying in a run-down motel bed, Dean's head on Cas’s chest, Cas’s hand rubbing circles on his back. 

“I'm so happy you're here Cas. With me”

“As am I dean. You make me very happy.” Cas smiled down at him.

Dean turned to peak up at his face. “I love you, Cas.”

Castiel’s smile grew. “I love you too, Dean. I've always loved you. From the moment I first saw your soul in hell.”

Dean blushed and tucked his head into Cas’s neck to hide his smile. “Alright, no chick flick moments.”

Cas breathed out a laugh, then kissed the top of Dean's head, before settling back down to continue rubbing his back. Within ten minutes, Dean was asleep, and Cas watched over him with a small smile on his face. 

***

One week later was the first time they had sex. Dean refused to say they made love, even though that’s exactly what it was. It was slow, and gentle, everything they both never knew they needed. They fit together perfectly, like his vessel was created with the sole purpose of being with Dean. Sam was surprised to learn that was the first time; he figured they had been doing it all along. The truth was, however, Dean didn’t want to rush into that with Cas. He was perfectly content to stay in his emotionally comfortable bubble. He wasn’t sure if it would ruin the fragile relationship he had started to build. If he was being perfectly honest, he would admit he was scared. But Dean would never actually admit that. Not to Sam, anyway. He explained it all to Cas during one of their late-night talks, though. Cas had been curious as to why they only kissed before, but he was more than willing to be patient for Dean. 

The next three weeks, Dean usually fell asleep too exhausted to stay up talking like they used to. Cas didn’t mind, he would just rub deans back or comb his fingers through his hair while he basked in the afterglow of their previous activities. Sam stopped getting rooms right next to theirs. Apparently, Dean could be very vocal, and Cas would sometimes come close to losing control. It only took a few seconds of flickering lights and rumbling walls for Sam to realize what was happening, and to immediately run out to request a new room at the other end of the building. 

For the last three months, however, Sam was back to sharing a room with Dean. Sam tried his best not to bring up Cas, he still wasn’t quite sure what happened before he left. Dean didn’t talk about the argument they had that night when they got back to the motel after the witch hunt. He didn’t talk about how Cas told him he loved him, and how he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t sacrifice his own life if it meant saving Dean. He didn’t talk about how Dean told him he was selfish, how he told him to leave if he couldn’t promise to stay by his side and not do anything stupid. He doesn’t talk about the look on Cas’s face, or the sound of wings when he left after Dean turned away from him. He definitely doesn’t talk about how he cried that night, alone in a bed that felt too empty. 

Sam knows he's not ok. Dean barely sleeps, tossing and turning all night. He’s thrown himself, and by extension, Sam, into hunting as a distraction. In the past three months, the brothers have cleared two vampire nests, killed 17 demons, taken out one werewolf, one shapeshifter, two witches, and burnt the bones of 22 ghosts. Dean knew Sam was exhausted, but he just couldn’t stop. He couldn’t even remember the name of the town they just pulled into, but he didn’t care. He needed to keep moving, keep hunting, because when he stopped, he thought about Cas. 

“Dean, we’ve gotta take at least a night off. Im dyin’, man.” Sam says, sitting on the end of one of the motel beds, looking at his brother.

Dean sighs, “yeah, I know. We'll take a few days. I haven’t found another case yet.” 

“Wanna go grab a couple beers? I saw a bar on the way into town.”

“Nah, you go ahead. I'm gonna try to grab a couple hours.” Dean sets his duffel bag on his bed, searching for his bathroom stuff, planning to shower before trying to sleep.

“Alright, man. You good?” Sam asks, standing up and looking worriedly at Dean. 

Dean looks back up at his brother. “Yeah, Sammy, I'm good. Go, have fun.” Dean hands Sam the keys to the impala. 

“Alright, don’t wait up I guess,” Sam cracks a smile as he heads to the door. 

Dean smiles back, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. After the door shuts behind Sam, Dean goes back to digging in his bag. He pulls out his soap, a clean pair of boxers, then he finds a blue and green striped button-down shirt, and he stops moving. Eventually he pulls the shirt out, holding it gently in his hands as he sits on the bed. His eyes fill with tears when he thinks back to when he bought it. 

They were in Illinois, after hunting a djinn, stocking back up on beer and a few supplies at a Walmart. Dean saw Cas staring at it as they walked past the men's clothing. He grabbed it after noticing that the colors perfectly matched both his and Castiel’s eyes. Cas liked to wear it on days they weren't hunting with a pair of Dean's jeans and one of his old AC/DC t-shirts. Man, he looked good like that. After Cas left, he stuffed it at the bottom of the bag and tried not to think about it. 

He lifted the shirt to his face to sniff it. It used to smell like Cas, but now it smells like the sweaty socks that are also at the bottom of his bag. Dean balls the shirt back up and throws it back into the bag, then gets up to shower. Later, Dean wanders back to his bed with wet hair, dressed in a t-shirt and boxers. ‘it’s gonna be a long night’ he thinks to himself, noticing the clock on the nightstand only says 10:45. 

Dean wakes up in a cold sweat. He can still see Cas’s face from his dream (nightmare?) when he closes his eyes. He looked heartbroken, like the last time he saw him. Dean turns and can see the shape of Sam under the covers of the other bed. The clock on the nightstand says 3:09. As quietly as he can, he gets up and slides his jeans on, stepping into his boots without tying them, and leaves the motel room. 

It's starting to rain, just a light sprinkle right now. He should've grabbed his jacket. He shoves his hands in his pockets as he leans against the Impala. He looks down, closes his eyes and ignores the one tear that manages to escape. For the first time in a long time, he prays. 

“Hey Cas, got your ears on? I know it's been awhile...” Dean trails off when he hears the sound of wings in front of him. 

“Hello, Dean.” Dean looks up and sees Castiel standing three feet in front of him. Dean has a great view of his trench coat covered back. 

Dean takes two steps forward and reaches a hand up as Cas takes one step forward, then Dean stops, drops his hand, and looks back to the ground. The rain picks up slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean whispers. He knows Cas can hear him, but he doesn’t respond. ‘I deserve this’ Dean thinks. He should never have told Cas to leave. He should’ve called him back after he left to apologize. He definitely shouldn’t have waited three freakin’ months to try to get him back.

“I barely remember what all I said that night, but I know I shouldn’t have said it. I should’ve thanked you for saving me. And Sammy. I just thought about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been ok, and I panicked. I couldn’t picture my life without you, especially since we became... whatever it was that we were. But, God, Cas, these last few months have been so hard. I miss you so much. Please, just come back. Stay with me. “ 

Dean held his breath while waiting for Cas to reply, the silence heavy between them. He took one more step toward the angel. 

“Turn around, Cas. Please. Look at me.”

Cas slowly turns to face Dean. He could see the tears on his cheeks, the skin around his eyes was red and a little puffy. Cas didn’t look up to meet Dean’s eyes. Dean reaches his right hand up to cup his cheek. 

“I love you, Cas. Things were going so good, and I ruined it. I ruin everything. But I don’t want to fight with you anymore. Please. Stay.”

Cas looks up into Dean’s eyes, searching to make sure this is truly what Dean wants. Slowly, he lifts his arms and takes the final step to close the distance, and wraps his arms around his hunter. 

“I’ll stay, Dean. As long as you want me. I love you,” Cas whispers into his neck.

“I’ll always want you. Forever.” Dean sighs in relief, hugging his angel tightly.


End file.
